Hotsy Totsy Burlesque and The Wiggle Room, at The Slipper Room

"Introducing: My Ex Wife...!"

March 8, 2018

So I'm in Denver visiting my best friend. It's a Monday night in 2014 and I'm standing at a bar in my underwear, drinking a rum and Coke, watching a woman transfer paint from her boobs to a canvas while dressed as Frida Kahlo.

I'm a nomad through a slew of US cities, vainly attempting to "pick one" and put down roots. My British visa had recently expired, and much to my displeasure (amidst lots of tears) I'd been exiled back to the Land of the Free. Thinking back on the original Pilgrims, you'd think I'd be glad to leave British shores. I mean, that was the point of starting America, wasn't it? I wonder what they'd think if they knew modern Americans wanted, willingly, to go back.

Denver wasn't on the list of candidates, since I'd already lived there for 10 years. It felt like taking three steps in reverse, like a questing knight who'd forgotten the damsel and build a hut outside the dragon's den, living the remainder of his days tilling a field and whittling marshmallow roasting sticks. I felt drawn to an entirely different quest, myself as the heroic damsel, taming the dragon and riding it into the sunset without a knight at all.

But my best friend lives in Denver, loves in Denver, defines and creates and pours his heart into Denver like the two are made for each other. And he occasionally emcees at Three Kings Tavern during their Monday Panties at the Bar nights.

You see, if you take your trousers off at the door, you get in free and can order a free drink. Boom. Slap me silly and call me a wanker - we're not in England any more, folks!

Until last Thursday, Frida Kahlo painting a picture with her boobies was the second greatest burlesque I'd seen (the best I'd seen was at Lannie's Clocktower, where a woman riding a unicycle stripped completely to pasties and gripped the seat with her thighs to bounce like a pogo stick while shimmying out of her skirt). The united atmosphere of female support permeated Three Kings and, despite my scanty clothing, I felt safe and protected. I almost wanted to be on the stage myself.

- < > -

Last Thursday, almost 4 years later, I had the pleasure of welcoming my best friend to my playground: New York City. He occasionally emcees Panties at the Bar in Denver, and has a tasteful, welcoming, and non-judgemental appreciation for the female form in its vast variety. At the end of our evening at The Slipper Room, he proudly proclaimed that it was the best burlesque he's ever seen.

The evening started with Hotsy Totsy Burlesque, a troupe of time-traveling and outer-space-flying dancers who recall the best scenes from our favorite sci-fi and nerd adventures in a completely new light (that is - dimly lit, slightly crimson and with significantly fewer clothes). The theme: Star Trek. At least 10% of the audience had arrived in Star Trek uniforms and whooped and hollered as "Lieutenant Uwhora" gave it her all.

As Sir Richard Castle took the stage as the emcee for The Wiggle Room at 10pm, things really started heating up.

The burlesque emcee is a unique role - you generally serve to kill time between acts so stage kittens can clear up and the audience can top up their drinks.

Not Sir Richard Castle.

At one point I fell into conversation with my neighbor, and turned back within 10 seconds to discover he'd climbed to the balcony and begun sliding down the side of the stage. He'd even ripped his pants on the railing, but maintained comedic poise and true British flare throughout. His inadvertent strip tease resulted in my best friend donating two enormous safety pins to the cause of maintaining feigned, convincing, and wholly brilliant British comedy.

In much burlesque, you suffer through the emcee to enjoy the dancing. At The Slipper Room, you come back for all of it.

Finally, we left grinning and satisfied. If you want a slightly risque, comedic gold, and wholly entertaining night out, you couldn't do better than The Slipper Room.

Photo courtesy The Slipper Room website

The Slipper Room
167 Orchard St
New York, NY, 10002

Hotsy Totsy Burlesque
Boob Trek
Season 2

Hosted By:
Cyndi Freeman aka Cherry Pitz & Handsome Brad

Brief Sweat
Candy Apples
Dahlia Dolorosa
Fem Appeal
Luna Lee

The Wiggle Room

Hosted monthly by Bradford Scobie as Sir Richard Castle

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